1 : containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation
I am often asked about my family by casual acquaintances. I think people tend to assume that having a lot of kids myself, I must come from a close family, and that that family must play a large part in the family I've created. I hate the questions. I hate having to explain that I do not have a relationship with anyone in the family into which I was born. In some ways it's easier to talk about my dad. "He died eleven years ago." People understand this. But explaining estrangements, that's a lot tougher. It goes against everything society wants family to live up to.
What kind of mother emotionally strangles her child and then blames that child for acting out?
What kind of mother apologizes while pointing her finger and demanding that her child accept accountability for "contributing to the chaos" of that child's formative years?
What kind of mother involves herself in the emotional and legal upheaval of a marriage that has imploded, taking the side of her daughter's abusive spouse? What kind of mother believes the stories fed to her by an alcoholic, drug addicted, wife-beating, lying son-in-law without giving her daughter any benefit of the doubt, without making one iota of effort to seek out her daughter's side of the story?
What kind of mother sends her daughter a six-page, single-spaced, type-written litany of her daughter's childhood offenses and crimes - a letter containing some truth, a lot of twisting, many glaringly omitted facts, a lot of inaccuracies and outright lies? A diatribe of that daughter's wicked nature, deplorable character, and general unworthiness. And what is the point of such a letter? What does that mother hope to accomplish with it? What kind of mother is still in the business of tearing down rather than building up?
This is what I come from. I will not be a slave to my roots. There are some people who are so toxic that cutting all ties is the healthiest, most positive step that can be taken in the endeavor to rise above it.